Apologies

I was so relieved.

I don't remember if I put it in an earlier blog, here, or not. But the other day, I was so pissed at my father. I have a much different relationship with my father than most thirty year old women. My dad was 53 years old when I was born. That makes him 83 now, and though his mind is still pretty sharp, his health fails him and his tact (if he had any to begin with,) is GONE!

Last year around this time, my beautiful niece who I love came for a visit. She had just gotten a new tattoo, beautiful as well, of the word Faith, right across the inside of her left wrist. When A saw my father, she walked up to him and he asked "Did you get another tattoo?" She said, "Yes, grandpa." And he said "I hate you."

WHAT? You don't SAY that, dad! I wanted to back hand him! But I tried to keep my cool. I consoled A and told her that he didn't really mean it. Which I'm sure he didn't but it was just so rude!

Anyway... my nieces feelings were very hurt. During Christmas, my brother and I explained this to my dad, and he got quiet. I wasn't sure there was any remorse for what he said at all. Just two days ago, my niece called her dad, he was at our house, and she got put on the phone with grandpa. I was relieved to hear him apologize for saying I hate you. And we all knew he meant it. It was sweet.

Merry? Christmas??

Tonight does not feel like Christmas to me.

I do not believe that I am here in the living room, by myself, drinking... TEA and not spending time with family. Today has been one of the WIERDEST days I have had in some time. Breakfast, was wonderful. I met my professor and friend W at Le Peep, where we always go. We talked about family, about fights, about music, and each other, and then we got interviewed by channel 22 about the new evidence they have discovered about the star of Bethlehem. There was an article in the tribune, i guess. I suppose that I should go get the issues out of the bag on the porch, and read about it since I said something about it on the air.

The cantata went well this evening. But, we didn't go to Danny's house.

I don't really know why. Big lack of communication.

I am angry with my father today. He was talking at lunch about hating people with tattoos. He really says that. I can't believe him! He said "I hate you." to my niece! It broke her heart. I know that he is 83... and has a huge lack of tact... but to your granddaughter? So... what do you do? I don't know. It just makes me sad inside.

And... I think that this blog... it's just gonna be just for me. Until I'm ready to share it.

Motivation

Today, I went to a family function, and I learned something very important.

Family is undoubtedly one of the best blessings God gives us. These relatives of mine, who I hardly know, have maybe met once, maybe when I was three, were wonderfully welcoming and very sweet to me. I was so blessed.

The other thing I learned... brush your teeth. I lost two teeth this year and I still had more teeth than all the people eating dinner at my table put together. Done. As soon as I got home, out came the Colgate.

That's all.

Watch the snowmen pop. Pop, pop, pop.

Hello!

Tonight for fun, my sister and I drove around Michiana... I with my right hand poised as a gun, and her right eye on the hunt, and we imaginarily (not a word.) SHOT, all inflatable yard ornaments. Pardoning all penguin inflatable yard ornaments. Simply because they were penguins.

We also went to walmart, where I went through the aisle full of noisy stuffed singing Christmas toys, and pressed every single one that I could reach... and as fast as I could, to create a deafening cacophony of Christmas cheer.

All that was missing was the liquor.

Afternoons and Coffee spoons

Those of you who know me, will know that I love coffee. I will drink two pots a day if you let me. I love it. I just hate that it stains my teeth.

That being said, I have always loved grabbing a Starbucks, or a BK coffee when I am on the road. It makes me feel like a grown-up.

Ask me why and I'll probably tell you something about how my brothers and sisters always had cups of coffee in hand, before and after church services, family reunions and other functions... road trips included. So yesterday, on the way home from a doctors appointment, i stop at the BP for a coffee. It was snowing, Michigan style, and my coffee in hand, warmed me... and made me to feel that wonderful I'm okay feeling.

So I did it again today. I went, this time to a Phillips, got a coffee, and felt fantastic.

And I'll do it again tomorrow.